


The Ghosts Between Us

by NatTheSongbird



Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Brief Mentions of the Regent, Gen, M/M, and put some ghosts to rest, basically Damen and Laurent talk about Auguste
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 20:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13302549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NatTheSongbird/pseuds/NatTheSongbird
Summary: Damen discovers a letter on Laurent's desk that his lover has been saving for years. He makes to put it away, until he sees his own name on the page.(Or, Damen and Laurent talk about Auguste and lay an old ghost to rest.)





	The Ghosts Between Us

**Author's Note:**

> hello, thank u for reading more of my enthusiastic writing about My Boys... Auguste of Vere is the love of my life and I've never met him but i would die for him. 
> 
> Jules is the best beta ever and her shit is cute so go check her out (@Just_a_simple_trash_can)   
> Comments and kudos are nice if u feel so inclined. Enjoy!

The box on Laurent's desk in their chambers was open when Damen walked by. Dozens of rolls of parchment were stacked haphazardly, a far cry from Laurent's usual meticulous organization. One was unfurled, spilling out of the box.

He was going to walk by them and ignore them. Truthfully, he was. But there, halfway down the open scroll, he saw his own name in unfamiliar handwriting.

He assumed it was from some foreign dignitary or ally, writing to Laurent to determine some aspect of the new alliance. Or perhaps it had arrived from a council member he'd sent to a province with some diplomatic task, reporting back with word on one of their many new endeavors as Kings.

As he sank into Laurent's desk chair and began to read, he realized he was wrong.

_Laurent,  
Marlas is as beautiful as it ever was, though not much fun without you. Father says we are to ride out to battle tomorrow. Have no fear, little prince; I will still be back at Arles in time for your birthday, and in time for you to finish trouncing me at our chess game._

Damen looked away from the parchment, heart clenching. Looking closer, the parchment showed signs of age; it was more fragile and thin than the rest, and the ink was slightly lighter than black and smudged in spots, as though water- or, he thought ruefully, teardrops- had touched it.

He knew he should put it down, but he was enthralled, remembering his own nervous energy before Marlas and wondering if Auguste had felt the same way, or if he'd been too worried about his little brother to be nervous about anything else. Damen took a deep breath and continued to read.

_When you were younger, Laurent, we would play at war when you wanted to command your imaginary forces, and you were the better strategist. You won many a time, frequently showing a more level and clever head than any commander I've met, myself included. I miss your level head now, brother. I asked what you would do with your conquered territories, and you replied, with no hesitation: "Combine them. Bring back the old alliance, and with it, peace." You were right, I think. I am trying to do something you would be proud of._

_Father and King Theomedes have been reluctant to talk of peace, but the world will not be theirs forever. When I am King of Vere, and Damianos is King of Akielos, perhaps peace can happen. He seems a good man. I remember him from some diplomatic summit or other when he was perhaps twelve- he was already an honorable man._

_I have told no one but you this, Laurent, but I must tell someone- I will not kill Damianos if I have any control over the matter. I am expected to seek him out, to challenge him man to man, but I will not kill him. He is the most honorable and reasonable of his family; his loss would be great. I will wound him if I must, but I am hopeful tomorrow can be the beginnings of us talking as allies. Perhaps you can be my head ambassador; I imagine your clever tongue could forge a treaty faster than either of us!_

_Tomorrow is going to change everything. I will hold you dear to my heart tomorrow, Laurent, and hope that I may draw strength from your faith. I will see you soon. I love you to the moon and back._

_(And don't move my chess pieces like last time. I remember where everything is, little prince.)_

_All my love, forever and always,  
Auguste_

"Are you in the habit of reading the private correspondence of all your lovers?" Laurent said, leaning against their door and watching Damianos with guarded eyes.

Damen jumped, looking up at Laurent guiltily. "I... I'm sorry."

Laurent's careful guarded expression melted into concern. "Damen," he murmured, "Are you crying?"

Damen raised a hand to his face, feeling the tracks of tears he didn't remember crying. Laurent crossed wordlessly to him and brushed his fingers across Damen's cheek.

"What's wrong?"

Damen held the letter up wordlessly. Laurent took it and scanned it, seeming to recognize it after only a line.

"Ah," Laurent murmured, rolling the scroll back into its form and tucking it into the box. "I had rather hoped you wouldn't see that. I had to go and meet with the Council before I could put it away..."

"He was never going to kill me," Damen said flatly.

Laurent moved the box aside, jumping slightly to perch on the table in front of where Damen sat. "No," he agreed after a long moment, "He wasn't. Not if it could be helped.l

"And you knew that?"

"Yes," Laurent replied, turning his face away and looking out the window. "It was a large part of why I was so angry. I... I knew if the situations were reversed, if he had taken the advantage when he had it, you would have still walked away and he would have come home. It took... it took a lot of time to realize that you had done what you thought you had to do. I know now that if Auguste had the chance to declare his intentions to you before you clashed swords, he would've walked away alive. You would never have killed a man with no intentions to hurt you in single combat."

"I didn't know," Damen said, almost pleadingly. He turned to Laurent, grasping at his hands. "I swear to you, I didn't know."

"I know," Laurent soothed, brushing the hair back off Damen's face. "Damianos. My uncle would never have let Auguste leave that battlefield alive. I can see that from here. With my father already fallen, he must have realized Auguste was the only thing between him and the throne. I am grateful, now, that Auguste was given the chance to fight honorably in his last moments, instead of feeling the betrayal of his own blood. You said it was quick. He would have suffered at my uncle's hands."

"It was quick," Damen said. "I... I will not say it was painless, but it was quick."

Laurent nodded once, then leaned forward and kissed Damen's brow. The air around them felt heavy with this thing they had carefully buried, this ghost between them they never talked about.

"He..." Damen swallowed, feeling as though the wave of guilt coursing through him would choke him. "He greeted me as 'Brother of Akielos'. I didn't want to fight him, but I thought I had to. I thought I couldn't trust Vere, I thought he was trying to trick me."

Laurent's eyes were deeply sad, but at peace. "I know. Auguste was something most Veretians are not--honest to a fault. You were both being told the other couldn't be trusted."

"And yet he wrote to his baby brother," Damen said sadly, "Saying he hoped for an alliance with the Crown Prince of Akielos."

"He did. Auguste had high hopes, then."

"And so did you," Damen said, looking at Laurent with a question in his eyes. Laurent smiled softly.

"You only knew the cruelest of me," Laurent said, thumb brushing the crease of Damen's brow fondly. "There was a time, before Marlas and my uncle and my solitude, that I was not quite so cynical, nor so angry. I wanted peace. I wanted an alliance. An empire of goodwill and easy relations, destined for prosperity under my brother's just rule of Vere. I had no reason to follow in my father's prejudices."

"Until I gave you one."

Laurent leaned forward and pressed their foreheads together until Damen could look nowhere but his eyes. "You saved me," Laurent said, "From myself above all. You are the great love of my life, you idiot, and don't you start doubting it now. You were the first and will be the last. Neither of us is innocent, but we are better together. You make me a better man, and I cherish the life we are building together. I choose you, in every day of every life, every time."

"Would Auguste have approved?" Damen asked, suddenly desperate to know. "Of us. Of me courting you."

"Yes. You two would've been the best of friends," Laurent said, carding his fingers through Damen's hair. "Auguste was like you- honest and direct and noble. Athletic and personable. He was..." Laurent's voice softened with wistfulness and affection. "A dreamer, I suppose. He made a choice, and here we stand, in the aftermath. In the end, all is well."

"I am so sorry," Damen managed, shaking his head. "For taking the life of a man I would've been honored to meet."

He laid his head in Laurent's warm lap, feeling Laurent stroke his hair and rest one hand at the nape of his neck.

"I have long forgiven you," Laurent said quietly. "If you need to hear that. I forgive you. I love you. You are more than your mistakes."

"As are you."

"We are not talking about me," Laurent said, tugging on the end of a curl. "Do you feel alright?"

Damen sighed, nuzzling the cloth over Laurent's thigh. "I suppose."

"Would it help to hear that before I saw you at the desk, my intentions were to drag you to bed and never let you go?"

Damen laughed despite himself, and looked up to see Laurent smiling cheekily at him.

He cupped Laurent's face in his hands, going weak at the knees when Laurent turned his face to press a kiss to his palm.

"Thank you," Damen said softly.

"Do not thank me," said Laurent. "Kiss me."

Damen was helpless to resist. With one last glance at the looping handwriting, he carefully closed the lid of the box and scooped Laurent up, relishing in his surprised laughter.

It did no good to dwell on the past now, with his future alive and laughing in his arms. For a moment, Damen could've sworn he felt a cool hand grasp his shoulder, and a warm glow of almost paternal approval radiate through him. He glanced around, but saw only a flash of gold at the window, where the setting sun threw light onto the twin cuffs within. He turned back to Laurent and held him tighter. His back to the window, he missed the ruffling of the curtains as a breeze slipped out of the window, off the balcony, and into the dying sunlight beyond. 


End file.
